Scooters and jaywalking

I made it to Hanoi and so did my bag (I wasn't exactly counting on the latter since it wasn't "available" in japan. And then I made it to my hotel unscathed, which is no small feat if you have ever been here. Picture an angry lead-footed nyc cabbie (are there any other kind?) Then give him a flat fee no matter where you are going or how bad the traffic, a road with thousands of maniacal, weaving scooters carrying things that may impair their maneuverability like 58 dozen eggs, industrial drums, and hundreds those fun cone hats, and no stoplights.
Also On that 28km journey to Hanoi from the airport, I might have found a new feature for the reality show "Most dangerous jobs on the planet". There were workers in the "slow" lane with brooms made of straw and metal hoes attempting to remove caked red mud from the pavement between speeding vehicles. Why? Seems to be the only legitimate question for that nonsense.
Upon arrival at my hotel it was amazing: A/c, internet, super clean and in the old quarter. After I checked in and changed into more suitable clothes (japan was 60 degrees hanoi 90) i decided to do a walking tour of the city. I can best describe it as NYC Chinatown on crack. It is at least twice as crowded and somehow 10 times more bustling ("get out the way" if you will. previously i didn't think this possible. In sum my sister and brother in law would be horrified unless they would give it a pass because it is in a different country and in their market you can not only buy frogs but live snakes to eat).
In my wanderings, I immediately encountered two middle aged American ladies at a "zebra" crossing (crosswalk). They asked me if I was going to cross. I said "sure why not?" Turns out they had been at that particular intersection for 30 min afraid to move (& with good reason) crossing the road here is like playing the top level of frogger except vietnamese scooters are scarier than hungry alligators. In light of this It took me about 10 min to gather up the courage, sadly the ladies stayed right where they had been directly in front of their hotel (now 40+ min later). On my tour, I meandered through a temple that had a 250 lb taxodermied turtle, a large market where if it is alive you can eat it, and then finished up the evening with a fantastic water puppet show.
Things I learned about Hanoi today: 1. In this city it might actually be protective to be a smoker. If you smoke you are probably better preparing yourself to inhale the noxious exhaust that permeates everything. 2. Facebook checkins matter even in Vietnam. At dinner tonight I sat by a group of 20 something vietnamese girls (although take that age with a grain of salt. I am about as good at guessing Asian age as I am at singing). they all took out their iPhones and checked in on Facebook as soon as they sat down. 3. It was the young rice festival today. That means you burn fake U. S. $5000 bills in honor of Buddha. Hopefully you all did that at home.
Pics: The streets, market food, zebra crossing, and water puppets