Sunday, December 17, 2017

Wearing 10 pounds of clothes to prevent your bag from being checked is a thing


4 phone calls and 3+ hours on the phone later, it was finally confirmed that the gentleman from Etihad was correct, I no longer had a departure flight from Africa and on Saturday there was nothing anyone can do per Chase. 

After a brief breakfast (where beef bacon happened),  I was walking back to the airport where they told me I had to check my bag. Bags from UAE have to be 7 kg, mine was 11.5. A lady dressed in purple head to toe with makeup to match who looked as if she should be in a Harry Potter film instead of in the Abu Dhabi airport told me if I could get it down to 8 kg she would let it pass (if I stopped crying) because she understood why I didn’t want to check my bag to Africa. I was escorted to the bathroom where I proceeded to put on 2 tank tops, 4 short sleeves, two long sleeves, 2 jackets, 2 pairs of pants, and 1 skirt. In the pockets of my pants were wet wipes, hand sanitizer, and a power bank. While in the jacket pockets there were three sports bras, 2 pairs of socks, a book, and 3 packs of protein powder. 2 pairs of shoes were strapped to my backpack. It was time to be re-weighed. I now realize I missed a MAJOR photo op. Two actually: 1. A photo in all of those clothes would have been the kind of thing I think my family would proudly frame. 2. My pure joy when they reweighed and it was 7.2 kg! 7.2!!!! It was an almost Christmas miracle (an aside every place that has had music in Abu Dhabi has been playing Christmas music or Justin Bieber,  oddly similar feels.). My suitcase was essentially empty. 
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I got the prized bag tag and I was on to the retinal scan for customs re-entry and I was sweating. Nothing like wearing everything you have all at once. Not so randomly, a crowd funding sites last year was attempting to fund a jacket that carried over 15 or so pounds of stuff. I sent the link to my sister suggesting that I fund it. We laughed. I was joking, kind of. Talk about a lost opportunity. 

As I walked through security looking fashion forward and sweating like una bestia (it sounds more elegant in another language), I could only think of the quickest way to get to a lounge to remove 85% of my apparel. Having completed that I went to use my Mickey D’s voucher for a green tea and then on to board my flight to Nairobi. 
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My seat mate on the flight was an almost 2 year old wearing a button up plaid dress shirt, a sweater vest and some Oxford shoes. He may have deeply appreciated my earlier fashion experiment. His mother was great and she taught me some Arabic words I didn’t know so that I could talk to him. 
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Upon arrival in Nairobi, it felt like a familiar African airport, the new parts very stark and the old very much like a minimally stocked mostly vacant strip mall . I walked to the gate and asked if the Seychelles was banning people who had been to Madagascar. The gate agent said he had not heard that followed by “Americans can usually go anywhere.” And with that into the Turkish lounge I went for the next 8 hours.
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My first move was to get a bite to eat. I was half way done when I found a piece of glass in my food luckily by biting down on it not feeling it as I swallowed. I alerted the woman who was servicing the food area and she was not overly concerned. Only because I stood there did she even open the top and briefly peak in as she shrugged. It is amazing what finding glass in your food can do to switch your attention away from the fact that you have no current itinerary to exit Africa. I took the better part of 10 minutes to shrug this off (although I do have a sore throat, but that was there before. Was it worse now from an unseen piece of glass?... Eeek. Aaaaagh and all of that) and then decided to book my own flight to leave (The Chase Rewards travel people had been largely not helpful. This combined with the possibility that I may not have phone reception tomorrow, it seemed the best course of action).  That booked and confirmed I decided to read and then meet my companions. 
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I ended up in an hour long conversation with a woman that has spent the past 18 months in the South Sudan working to prevent gender-based violence (GBV for short). I learned a lot. The world has a long way to go. My conversation with her reinforced that women must support and stand for one another. 
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This was followed by another hour long conversation with the Chase travel department. This time the supervisor explained to me slowly and loudly that airlines reserved the right to change itineraries and cancel flights. Nothing like being told something you already know in a tone that itself questions if you understand basic English that is simultaneously not at all helpful. That conversation can be summed up as: We don’t know. Call Back. 
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So as I leave Nairobi, it was a comical but all in all good day. I met some great people, slept, read, watched some Scrubs first season and had an excellent breakfast. Here’s to waking up at my destination.  50 hours down 7 to 8 to go!


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