A Galaxy Tablet will help you cut the line at customs but they willhate you for it

After Mademoiselle Scary Eyes was dragged from the plane the flight was uneventful unlike our passage through customs.

Apparently in past trips customs has confiscated stuff so the trip leader has resorted to bribing some dude in a navy blue vest and a long sleeve purple shirt with a new Galaxy tablet. He showed up after we had waited in the customs line for about 10 minutes and told us to just cut to the front of the line and then promptly disappeared. That made for amazing international relations. I could see the thought bubbles over the over 100 people we cut in front of, "__insert expletive here__Americans."

Purple shirt then met us on the other side and held out his hand and said "passport". Out of 10 he got one yes and that was from the person who had possession of his bribe. We picked up our bags (an aside: Why does anyone buy a black roller bag? And more importantly why do I own one?? Will someone please remind me to die or spray paint it next time when I try to pack it?? Put ID on it you say? I tried in the form of pink streamers that would have made any little girl under the age of 6 squeal with delight. They are likely now someone's kids hair bow maybe even at Dulles.)

After picking up our baggage, purple shirt was successful in collecting our passports. He held them in one stack over his head with one arm and I kid you not marched through one side of customs and out the other. We were instructed it follow. (Envision the customs agents and the X-ray people losing their minds and following us). This was not happening although I must admit it was a strong move. I believe in the act like you know what you are doing and just walk in many situations.

So back half of the people went towards the chaos and misery that can be called the "automatic unfold", where they open your bag, dump and then point at you like it is your fault. "Why did you mess ups their customs area?" Amidst the confusion purple shirt man kept yelling for us not to come back "Stay!" while the customs guys yelled for us to return and go through the X-ray line "You! Here!". I didn't go back and eventually walked outside when I was tired of watching them molest our surgical equipment and keep passing off our passports. All in all we came out relatively unscathed, only three pieces of equipment taken.

Some things I learned:
1. Groups of 10 tall white people or more can't just charge through customs even when they buy a random dude a tablet. Go figure.
2. You don't really have to go through customs (especially if you #5)
3. you are only allowed to bring one laptop per person into Ethiopia, audiologists carry three, this is a problem.
4. The more you act like you don't care if they manhandle and molest your stuff the less likely they will.
5. If you don't bring at least two velour brightly colored comforters with you to Ethiopia (4 seems to be the average), you are clearly an outsider.